in my office there is a lady that drops by every week or so to give haircuts. its weird. i always make up the most far fetched excuses to avoid wearing a cape. i don’t think God wants me to cut my hair. no seriously, for the past couple of years i have been lucky enough to draw the one person that really shouldn’t be cutting hair. no kidding, i have been receiving haircuts from people with one eye to people with seven fingers. one chick, with a lazy eye, cut my ear. i am not being mean. it just aint right.

don’t get me wrong, i completely fear even being close to the metro radar. i would shave my head, if i wasn’t scared of my wife. my hair has always grown back so i don’t fear a bad haircut. i take that back. these days, if i get a bad haircut, i might be considered a metro.

what happened to LA Looks? remember when you could buy the gallon of green LA Looks for like $1.29. i used that bottle from 4th grade to my 6th year in college. now i have to use some concoction of papaya smelling super glue that saves the rain forest and is so recyclable that you can eat the container when you are finished with it. if i ever use the word product in place of gel, buy me a pink shirt and some fake cowboy boots.

which should i bring back to mainstream?