A few minutes back in time, my buddy Terry penned this. Terry talks about finding/seeing/hearing God through unconventional methods. Whether that be a song, movie, or magazine God can be found in everything. And so, I was spinning Disconnected by Trapt on my iPod this morning.

I am not sure but if my money was on the line, I would bet that this song is about a girl.

As you can see, I enjoy loud angst rock. I am not too proud to admit that I let animosity build up within me. At some point those emotions must come out. Most of the time it comes out while I am banging my head driving down the road, ruining speakers. Other times I let it out within the peace of God through the quietness of nature.

At times when I am close enough to God, I can sense his presence in everything. I believe it is a true sixth sense. The thing that sucks is that this sixth sense never last. I always seem to screw up or conveniently let my will get in the way of His desires. My demons come out of the wood work to distract me. Sometimes I even anticipate this happening. I am still not sure if this is a good thing or not. How long can I stay on that mountain? Maybe that “mountain” is actually the valley. I know, it doesn’t make sense to me either.

trapt-lyricsThis morning the chorus of the song opened my eyes.

So disconnected, going through the motions again. Why do I do this? Why do I let myself get so wrapped up in me? Ya I read my bible. Ya I go to church. Ya I give. Ya that makes me sound like a Pharisee. It’s easy to get caught up in the practice of religion. It’s much harder to look into your heart and decipher where you stand with your creator like this man did.

So disconnected, everything goes over your head. I have no one to blame but myself. God wants to bless me. He wants to continuously bless me. But because I loose focus, because I walk the fence, because I am prideful, I miss his blessing. God is firing blessings at me daily and yet I move His target. Not that he can’t hit what He aims at either. He has better things to do than to deal with my stupidity.

So disconnected, you got me hanging by a thread. The thread is always there. God will never let go. And the reason the thread has unraveled to the point where I am barely hanging on is, me! He is not going to drop me but He has no problem letting me hang like an ignorant monkey. Jesus obviously lived the greatest example of how to trust the Father. Check out one of His gut wrenching statements here.

So disconnected, when will this cycle end? I don’t have an answer. I truly believe that I, well maybe you, can go for extended periods of time without sinning. The only way this is possible is with God’s grace. Where I become disconnected is when I get on that mountain, I know I am going to eventually come down. Maybe, just maybe, when I feel disconnected, I am actually closer to him than I realize. The valley is a “bad” place. Or is it? The valley offers goals. The valley is where you connect. The valley is where Jesus spent His life. The valley is where Job spent his life and yet stayed connected.

My conclusion. Regardless of your presence in the mountain or the valley, God is always with you.

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