I am not as cool as I look. Or as cool as I think I am. Deep down I have a past that hides. Afraid that it is magically going to become visible, I have ran. Ran from God. Ran from my wife. Ran from friends. When I look backwards, I do not like what I see.

My last name for instance has no significance whatsoever to me. It was typed on my birth certificate but I never knew who put it their. Just the pronunciation and etymology of it alone makes no sense. Knutson. When someone asks me my name, I say “Cody”, pause, “K-n-u-t-s-o-n.” Ya, I spell my name every time. It pretty much sucks.

I don’t like where I came from but I am thankful for my history. My history has made me who I am today. I am pretty enamored with David. You know the David who beheaded a giant and wrestled with lions. I connect with his story. Although his story started with the favor of God, his life ended with him seeking forgiveness for his past.

David lived a life that every man dreams of. He had power. He had toys. Women wanted him. He had fame. He was straight ripped. I figure he could step in the octagon with Brock Lesnar and put an L on his record.
Because David had it all, at some point he looses focus. He takes his eyes off God. He becomes selfish. Basically it runs down like this, he sees, he wants, he acquires, he hides. His focus was turned to a woman. A married woman. He physically summons her. He has a moment of sex with her. She gets knocked up. David tries to hide it by arranging her husband to come back from war to sleep with Bathsheba. That didn’t work as planned. So, the easy thing to do was to kill this woman’s husband.

This story doesn’t seem far fetched to me. This is my fathers story. He contemplated and completed the same atrocious actions. Because of this, I am ashamed of my past. I got a call my third year in college stating my father was on his death bed. I had never heard or seen him since I was 2. To this day I never saw him. He died.

As a think about Davids story it features incredible forgiveness. Even though David was chosen to be the king and great hope of Israel, he fails miserably. Yet God forgives him and includes Davids name in the lineage of Jesus Christ. I should have forgiven my Dad. I could have shown him true 1 John chaper 3 love. In spite of everything thing he didn’t do for me, I should have told him about the peace and forgiveness I have found.