I have been nudged. Nudged to take my family and jump. I am scared. I am not emotional. But yesterday I was broken. I felt a huge shoving from God. It’s hard to explain through words what I feel deep in my gut, heart, and mind. Have you ever been in a church service and felt as if you are the only one in the audience. Well, I have felt this way for the last few months.

jump

I know God wants not just me but my family as well, to be serving Him within the capacity of missions. I have ran from this guidance for a long long time. I have tried to hide behind other good works. I even started a pursuit at a masters degree in theology to buy more time. Nope, that didn’t help either. Yesterday, I drove to a remote area to try and hear God. Know what I felt Him trying to tell me? “I have nothing else to say until you go.” You see, I know what He wants from me. Heck, He has even given me a dream that excites me. And I still question.

Here is what I am afraid of. I am afraid that I am not good enough. Because I have ran for so long, why would He want to still use me? Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. I am afraid to ask for help as well.

And now, I have this incredible opportunity that has only risen due to God. This opportunity would allow us to minister to a local people and inspire others to do the same. And the people that are knee deep within the ministry are totally rad. I was really fearful that if I became a missionary, I would have to get a new wardrobe, part my hair, grow a mustache, burn my iPod, start collecting white button up shirts and ties. But the people of 6:8 are so genuine, funny, and normal. I could be myself. If you know me, you know that I ain’t changing my personality to please anyone.

So what does this mean? What am I trying to say? I am asking for prayer. I believe God has given us the opportunity to partner with 6:8 Ministries. You’re right, I could be wrong about this whole thing. After a conversation I had with the leadership of the ministry, I don’t think I will ever be 100% sure that this is part of God’s plan. I want this to happen. I believe it can happen. And for crying out loud, What is the worst that could happen!?

I am asking for prayer. If I could take it one step further, may I ask you to pray for my feet. I have heard his voice but I haven’t done anything yet. All I have done is recognized His call. I still have to jump.

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