rocky

Have you ever looked deep within yourself? I mean when it happens unintentionally and it’s the last thing you expected to happen. Like when you’re watching a movie and the suspense builds and then bam, Rocky is being tormented by the loss of Apollo. Is there a better encouraging movie character than Rocky? He is always the underdog and I always root for the underdog. I have never viewed myself more than an underdog. I have demons that always seem to keep me from being more. Personally, I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and failure.

I don’t know why I allow these things to sneak up on me.

Yes, I believe these emotions can be prevented. No, I personally won’t take medication to aid myself.

clown

For me I wonder if this happens as a reality check. Like the valley. The mountains aren’t as sweet if you have never stood at the bottom and were forced to look up. I have always likened my life to one of those air filled clowns with weight at the bottom. You know those punching bags for kids that when you punch it, it comes back. I don’t see myself as the punching bag but as the one throwing the punches. Have you ever seen a little kid hit one of those bags and then the clown pops right back up and knocks the kid over?

I always try to control everything. I can throw punches at life over and over and keep the clown at bay but eventually this lifestyle wears me down. And before I know it the bag always comes back and knocks me down. I’m being literal here. I try to control God and like a great boxer he lets me swing, knowing that he will tire me out. He’s the patient one. His patience is where I find peace because I always know he’s in my corner ready to take my mouthpiece out, wipe off my blood, and pat me on the back.

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