I turn 30 in 64.058 days. I have set some goals that I want to complete by then. Basically I want to be in the best shape of my life. And be as cool as you.

1. Bench Press 350lbs (positive I will reach this)

2. Dead Lift 505lbs (pretty sure I will reach this)

3. Squat 400lbs (not so sure I will reach this)

The best part about attempting these goals is that I have to eat a lot. I mean a lot. For instance, today I had 2 pkgs of oatmeal at 7am, 1 turkey sandwich at 10am, chicken/broccoli at 1pm, 1 turkey sandwich at 3:30, lifted at 5:30, and finished off with 2 turkey and cheese sandwiches with a few pork rinds. I drink tons of water…probably 2 gallons…I’m thinking about getting some depends to save time from going to the bathroom.

I apologize if you just read this because it must have been fiercely boring.