(PHOTO from nasiuduk)

14:3You shall not eat any abomination.4 These are the animals you may eat: the ox, the sheep, the goat,5 the deer, the gazelle, the roebuck, the wild goat, the ibex, the antelope, and the mountain sheep.67 Yet of those that chew the cud or have the hoof cloven you shall not eat these: the camel, the hare, and the rock badger, because they chew the cud but do not part the hoof, are unclean for you.8 And the pig, because it parts the hoof but does not chew the cud, is unclean for you. Their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch. 9 Of all that are in the waters you may eat these: whatever has fins and scales you may eat.10 And whatever does not have fins and scales you shall not eat; it is unclean for you.11You may eat all clean birds.12 But these are the ones that you shall not eat: the eagle, the bearded vulture, the black vulture,13 the kite, the falcon of any kind;14 every raven of any kind;15 the ostrich, the nighthawk, the sea gull, the hawk of any kind;16 the little owl and the short-eared owl, the barn owl17 and the tawny owl, the carrion vulture and the cormorant,18 the stork, the heron of any kind; the hoopoe and the bat.19 And all winged insects are unclean for you; they shall not be eaten.20 All clean winged things you may eat.21 You shall not eat anything that has died naturally. You may give it to the sojourner who is within your towns, that he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner. For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Every animal that parts the hoof and has the hoof cloven in two and chews the cud, among the animals, you may eat.

I bet pigs love Moses and God. But what about petting zoos? Do you let your kids pet the pigs? I like frog legs, should I make a burnt offering? No frog legs but I can eat a poisonous rattlesnake? Better make that a double offering. The first time I went duck hunting I shot a cormorant but I didn’t eat it and yes it’s illegal to shoot cormorants. What about an ostrich egg, is that cool? Apparently roadkill is good to go. And if I find an animal that died of a heart attack I can’t eat it but I can give it to you to eat.

Thank God that Jesus came to die for my sins because I like bologna.

Advertisements